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How to Identify If Your Child Is Being Bullied
Bullying can have long-lasting effects on a person’s life, and in recent years, it has intensified due to the internet. It is painful even to adults to be on the receiving end of hurtful words and actions, so can you imagine how a child feels when they are made to feel inferior during their formative years?
Parents and teachers both need to be alert when it comes to detecting bullying. Bullied children often don’t say anything about the emotional or physical abuse they experience because they are afraid or embarrassed. So, it is up to adults to be vigilant enough to detect when something isn’t right, so they can minimize, and hopefully prevent, the effects of bullying.
The first step is to be more aware of the signs that could indicate your child is being bullied. Here are some common characteristics bullied children display:
- Often lose their things in school, parks, or other places where they are around other children. This could indicate things are being stolen from them.
- May have a sudden drop in grades.
- Have visible cuts and bruises on their bodies that seem to lack explanation.
- Low self-confidence.
- Often appear lonely or have a sudden withdrawal from people.
- May have few friends at school.
- Often complain of sickness to avoid going to school.
- Have a change in attitude or behavior.
- Do not want to join other classmates in activities.
- Do not want to ride the bus with their classmates.
- Resist going to school.
- Do not eat well.
- Do not sleep well or may even cry at night or in their sleep.
- Wetting in bed.
If you have identified signs, it’s time to take action. Talk with other parents and teachers to address your concerns and find the root cause of the bullying. Keep in mind that every bully has some sort of insecurity, pain, or sadness they bear, so they take it on others. If you can help address those problems and build a support group for all of the children, bullying can be minimized.
Mistakes to Avoid When it Comes to Disciplining Your Child
However, as much as we know guidance and discipline are important to our children, there are instances when we may actually be doing it improperly. Here are some examples below to be aware of:
- Yelling at them – Yelling happens, but of course it is not ideal as it can cause our children to fear us. Yelling can convey to our children that we are not listening to their frustrations and encourage shouting as a way to enforce will versus talking through things. As a result, kids can actually become
more rebellious. Talking through why you are upset, or why a behavior is bad helps to teach cause-and-effect and reasoning skills. - Nagging – Do you want to repeat yourself over and over again? Do you love hearing someone repeat themselves over and over again? Neither do your children. Nagging will only frustrate you and encourage your children to tune you out. Creating a system of warnings and results if your requests are not met is another great way of teaching cause-and-effect to your children. For example, “If Mommy has to ask you to do something 3 times, X will happen because you did not listen.”
- Giving in instantly – What’s the use of setting rules only to bend them? Kids learn pretty quickly how we work, and can get very good at outsmarting us! If you always give in to them whenever they whine or cry. There is really no point of putting effort into discipline. Your children will only find a way to break the rules. Hold fast, even when the crocodile tears start to well up.
- Expecting a lot from your children – Kids will be kids and since they only know and experience a little, they will stumble along the way. Expecting too much from them will only discourage them and can make them overly cautious and guarded for fear of disappointing you. Be realistic and understand the limitations of your children. Work with them to encourage them – and of course, reward positive behavior when it occurs, and tell them why.
- Becoming inconsistent – Are you allowing them to slide once in a while? It may seem “kind” for parents to let the kids slide from time to time, but doing so will only make them realize that it is okay to make mistakes or not follow the rules if they feel they can get a mulligan.
- Being negative – Excessive negativity can have a powerful impact on the development of your child. Be mindful of the words you use. Instead of focusing on negative reinforcement for bad behavior, use positive reinforcement for good behavior. Kids love praise from their parents – just be sure to explain the ‘why’ as children are inquisitive by nature while they work on figuring out how the world around them works.
How to Help Your Children Eat Their Vegetables
It’s important for parents to start introducing vegetables and other healthy foods to their children as early as possible. Healthy food choices not only benefit their physical growth, but they also produce healthier brains and more stable emotions. Once your kids get used to eating healthy food, that is what they will begin craving, which means dining will no longer be a battleground of the wills when it comes to eating vegetables.
To help you make your kids eat healthily, here are a few tips:
- Avoid giving food as rewards. Do not let kids get used to receiving food rewards because it can tamper with their perception of healthy foods. If you give kids cake, ice cream, and other sweets for rewards, they will try to work for these cravings.
- Consider healthy options when dining out. Do not let dining out be a reason to let them off the healthy track. Make sure they get their fill of healthy foods wherever you go. Many restaurants’ menus are becoming much more health-conscious.
- Be an example. Show your kids that healthy eating is a good thing. Choose healthy food options for yourself, so that is what they become used to seeing. Kids constantly mimic their parents, so this is a huge key to success.
- Make eating fun. Eating vegetables does not have to turn your kids’ faces sour. Make themed presentations that make their dining experience fun. Arrange the vegetables into happy faces, mashed potatoes into a fun hat shape, etc.
- Implement rules. Kids usually follow the rules when they have been specifically detailed for them. Set reasonable rules for their eating habits like drinking water after every after meal or eating a full lunch everyday.
- Consider how they feel. Do not just push the food down their throats without considering how they feel. Be strategic about how you entice them to eat their vegetables. If they feel too forced or attacked, they may go into resistance mode.
- Let them help. Kids love to do things and participate in activities. If you allow them to help with food preparation and cooking, they will be more likely to eat the food because they had a role in making it.
How To Choose Age-Appropriate and Safe Toys
Few things give your child more joy than a new toy (except for maybe the box that it came in…). Toys help to create a vast colorful world of endless wonder and make-believe you and I can no longer really “see”.
Unfortunately, toys today may also pose a threat if not selected properly. There are toys that unsafe and not appropriate for the age of our children. It is important for us to scrutinize toys we want to give our children first, before handing them over.
Here are some tips on how you can choose age-appropriate and safe toys for your children:
- Check the package- Toys come with an age recommendation and some with safety instructions, be sure to read these instructions first to prevent injury. There are toys that are only ideal to 6 years old and above since these contain small parts that little ones can swallow.
- Evaluate its durability- Is it strong enough not to easily break? It is a risky to have toys that can easily shatter into pieces and cause its small parts to scatter around or scratch your child.
- Look for safe ingredients- You can find what makes up a toy in its own packaging. Check the ingredients and see if there are hazardous elements!
- See if it is educational and developmentally appropriate- We want our kids to not just have fun, but also learn from their toys. Today there are ample toys available that are developmentally appropriate for your child’s age.
- Choose simple toys- The simpler they are, the wider the imagination of your kids when playing. Toys that are too specific offer less room for the imagination as everything is already set out for them.
- Give one toy at a time- Give your kids time to enjoy the a few toys first, so they will really maximize the enjoyment of those toys. While an argument can be made that one can never have too many toys – too many at once for a child can be less than ideal.
- Understand the learning needs of your child based on his age- For instance, children who are 2-4 years want to stimulate their imaginations, while babies from 6-8 months do well with repeatable activities.
- Be careful with electronic toys- Toys that are powered through batteries and electricity are risky to children especially toddlers and babies. They can try to plug and unplug or even taste the batteries.
Helping Your Child Adjust to Preschool
It’s not uncommon for parents to have to deal with their children not wanting to leave them, and sometimes even once they begin attending preschool, they can still have difficulty adjusting.
So, what can you do to help your child ease into preschool?
- Let your child know that tomorrow is a school day. Say it to them with a lot of excitement, so they will feel excited as well. Talk to them about what they can expect, and be sure to mention the fun things like story time and playtime.
- Help them prepare their things the night before. Encourage your kids to prepare their school supplies, and even snacks, the night before. Make it sound exciting and tell them how much fun they’re going to have using their new school supplies.
- Wake them up early. This will prevent delays and arriving to school late. Waking them up early will help eliminate their grogginess before they begin their school day. It will also keep them from feeling embarrassed if they show up late.
- Prepare their favorite breakfast for them. Start their day right with their favorite meal. It will make them happy, which sets a good tone for the day.
- Help them to their classroom. If they do not want you to leave, stay for a few minutes while they sit down at their chair. Then, leave quietly once the teacher starts.
- Be early to pick them up and ask them about school. Show them that you are interested in their school, so they feel your support. This will also prevent them from becoming scared if you are not there to pick them up on time.
- Observe how they feel. Ask them how they feel about school and gather hints of possible reasons they may not be adjusting well.
- Have a consistent routine. Make pre-school preparation a routine for them so they become comfortable with it. Always have the same schedule each day from the time they wake up until you pick them up.
- Partner with their teacher. Talk to your teacher and ask them how they can help your child adjust to school. Let them know how your child feels and discuss what may be causing their reluctance about school.
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